Archive for December, 2010

December 28, 2010

new year intentions

it’s hard to believe that a new year is almost here; just when i finally broke myself of habitually jotting the year as 200_ when writing checks. I don’t do resolutions but i do like goals, so as we prep for the Big Ball Drop and hang up a new calendar I like to think about what I’d like to accomplish in the next 12 months…

read 26 books. this is only a book every two weeks. totally doable, right? the twist: reading a book with a title starting with each letter of the alphabet.

get back to a regular yoga class. good for my mind and body, which is good for my family. a balanced mama makes for a balanced family, yes? I hope so.

dust off my treadmill and actually use it. run outside when the weather and children accommodate.

make good use (read: monthly visits at a minimum) of our annual passes to the zoo, nature & science museum, and butterfly pavilion.

recycle the same goals/intentions I set for myself last year that I didn’t accomplish. (is it cheating to change the date on last year’s list? I really meant that i’d get better at meal planning in 2011. really. and that part about finishing unfinished home improvement projects? yep. totally. meant to say 2011 on those too.)

to be continued as I think more about what i hope to make out of 2011.

and you? any goals for the upcoming year? are you a “go big or go home” type of goal setter? or more of a “well, let’s just wait and see what happens” type?

December 1, 2010

broken

I lie down and I can’t sleep.
I hate my brain.
I take a pill, and wait.
squeezing my eyes shut to keep them from popping open.
awake.
take another, and wait.
twitching, tossing, turning.
awake.
and another.
fuck me, this sucks.
it’s late and I’m still awake. he’s disappointed in me.
he doesn’t know that I’m disappointed with myself too.
so, I lie here awake,
cursing my fucking broken brain.