i’m neurotic because…

i have many odd, ritualistic, OCD behaviors; most of which are around eating, sleeping, smells, and matters of hygiene.

i don’t eat seafood.  anything that comes from a lake, river, ocean, pond, or stream is strictly off limits.

ditto on red meat.

the smell of popcorn makes me ill, and it takes all my self-control to keep myself from dry-heaving.  this is especially true during pregnancy, and i’ve had to make a hasty exit from two different stores in the past week because of the smell.  (target, i’m looking at you.)

i cannot sleep without a thick slathering of rosebud salve on my lips.

i also cannot sleep without the aid of ambien, but that’s another story with a whole other list of neuroses.

my bedsheets have to be perfectly smooth, the covers have to be evenly weighted on all sides of the bed, and the pillows have to be precisely positioned every night.

i love pretty much all fruit, but i think papayas and persimmons are totally nasty.

scented laundry makes me want to vomit.  when i smell the neighbors’ dryer vent i want to knock on their door and hand them a bottle of free+clear detergent and box of unscented dryer sheets.

air fresheners, room sprays, scented plug-ins…also make me sick.

my nighttime flossing, brushing, rinsing routine can easily take 20 minutes.

i have an irrational fear of losing my teeth and needing dentures someday.

flossing is damn near orgasmic.  same goes for ear cleaning.

the list of foods i dare not eat is much longer than the list of foods i do eat.

when showering, i can only turn to my left when moving from front-rinse to back-rinse.  turning right feels all sorts of wrong and i have to turn immediately to the left to correct the imbalance i feel.

i have a super-spidey sense of smell.  we bought a used car months ago and i can detect the smell of the previous owner’s cologne on it still.  my husband insists that there is no scent whatsoever but i can smell it outside the car with the windows up and the doors closed.  drives me fucking nuts.

drinking water out of a glass skeeves me out.  i prefer to drink it out of a camelbak bottle.  even if it’s the exact same water.

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3 Comments to “i’m neurotic because…”

  1. I love popcorn – but the popcorn smell at Target is way out of control. OUT OF CONTROL. Its not even the good popcorn. Way raunchy.

  2. your issue with popcorn smell is my issue with the rotisserie chicken smell at grocery stores. VOM.

  3. Ditto Angelika. Ewwww. And FWIW, I can only drink water out of my Camelback, too. I’ll set it on the dinner table at friends’ houses. LOL!

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