Archive for February, 2009

February 16, 2009

happy birthday, BoGo

kerry’s baby boys were born this morning. the little stinkers came early. troublemakers, already, those two.

February 12, 2009

a year in hair

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February 10, 2009

i am *that* mom

you know, the mom you see in a store with a screaming, tantruming toddler. the one who is hissing at said child through clenched teeth, telling her to just sit down and be quiet pleasepleaseplease for one more minute and i swear we are going home soon. the mom who is ignoring the stares of other shoppers looking on in abject horror as she pushes the stroller containing her writhing, protesting toddler, pretending that there is nothing to see here. nosiree…just look the other way as my baby pulls entire racks of clothing onto the floor, kthxbye. she is usually a very agreeable child, at least in public. today was a different story, though i suppose if there is a silver lining to be found in all this, this new feisty behavior will go a long way in keeping me away from target.

February 5, 2009

i swear this isn't that damn '25 things about me' list

i say, “so i heard on NPR…” at least once a day

i have a wicked crush on rachel maddow

i ate nutella today.  it is global nutella day, after all

i believe that a long hot shower at the end of the day makes everything better

i think that coffee mugs and teacups should always be oversized 

i think that size does matter, apparently

i’m learning to listen to my instincts better than i used to

i reread beloved books all the time

i am obsessed with oral hygiene

i have an irrational fear that i will lose all my teeth and need dentures someday

i also have a major fear of snakes, but i believe that it is totally rational

i went to band camp when i was a freshman in highschool

i only joined the band because my brother and sister had been in it

i dropped out after a couple months

i am not musically inclined

i am totally annoyed by the media blowing this whole michael phelps pot ordeal out of proportion

i don’t believe that pot is the gateway drug that everyone says it is

i think my feet are lovely

February 4, 2009

project, me: day2

I took advantage of the amazing springlike weather to take a nice, long walk today. I let rudy off the leash and she ran and ran and ran, through the scrubby brush, around the prairie dog holes, and into the ponds and streams with their edges still laced with ice. she didn’t seem to mind the cold water; I think it just gave her an excuse to run faster. there was almost no wind, which is amazing for this time of year, and the sun was shining. my heart aches with the yearning for spring and summer, and the pangs only grow more intense when I remember that it is just barely February and the coldest, snowiest months of the Colorado winter are yet to come. I did breathe deeply when I remembered how I used to take this same walk when my baby was just a newborn, and I would cry and pray the entire time, just hoping to find the strength to get through one more day, or sometimes just one more hour. it filled my heart with such relief and such a profound calmness to realize how far I have traveled in my journey as a mother. part of my commitment to daily exercise is for my physical health, but more than anything I need it for my mental health. today was amazingly restorative in that sense, and it gives me hope that I can endure the next few bitter months and make it to April.

February 3, 2009

project, me: day 1

my friend kristina said i’m too hard on myself.  that’s probably true.  i know that i am my own worst critic but i also know that i do need a kick in the pants to make my health and well-being a priority these days and i don’t take kindly to pants-kicking from others so i have to do it myself.  i ran three miles and did some resistance training today, and i DVRed an episode of core-power yoga (by the way, did i tell you that we just got a DVR last week?  we’ve finally joined the 21st century and never have to watch commercials again!) that i plan on watching at some point.  and i ate pretty well today; pizza totally counts as health food in my world.  so, high five for a step in the right direction.  w00t.

February 3, 2009

bathroom renovation: step two

the cabinets are sanded and primed.  paint is going on tomorrow.  the granite man is picking up our slab for fabrication in the morning.   i’m off to find tile for the floors, lighting fixtures, faucets, cabinet hardware, door handles and hinges, and a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow to pay for it all.

February 3, 2009

365 project: day 95

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ninja dog makes a not-so-stealth attempt to snatch a stuffed puppy from the hands of an unsuspecting toddler.

February 2, 2009

squishy, gushy, jiggly, blah

that’s pretty much how i’ve been feeling lately.  remember my new year’s generalizations?  that was barely over a month ago and i already feel like i’ve let myself down.  the whole point of not making resolutions was to allow myself some wiggle room for forgiveness when i didn’t stick to them as devoutly as i would hope.  unfortunately that wiggle room is turning into, well, quite a bit of wiggling in terms of my physique as my plan to be more consistent with exercise has only been consistent in its lack of consistency.  and also its nonexistence.  i’ve got all the usual excuses.  

“i’m tired.”  

“i don’t have time.” 

“the cookie was asking, nay, begging, to be eaten, and so were its kin.”

but the truth is that i do have time.  i know i would feel less tired and more energetic if i got up and moved my body.  i know that my mental well-being depends on exercise, and i feel markedly more balanced after a long, hard run.  i have just not made it a priority, and that is why i feel so disappointed in myself.  i have time for facebook, i have time for television, i have time for internet message boards, i have time to sit on the couch and inhale a dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies.  how is it possible that i don’t have time to do something that i know is necessary for me to be happy and healthy and whole?  

i’ll do it tomorrow.  i’ll run tomorrow.  i’ll do an hour of c0re-power yoga on-demand tomorrow.  it sounds like i will be very, very busy tomorrow.  but maybe tomorrow i won’t make time and i will end up making these same resolutions tomorrow night.  and the next night.  and the next.  while i’m engaging in this never ending cycle of fail-guilt-chastise-plan-fail-guilt repeat, repeat, repeat the number on the scale is climbing steadily higher and the jiggles are getting progressively jigglier.  

i really do want to make a change and actually follow through with something in my life.  i want to hold myself accountable and actually reach my goals instead of giving up (less than) halfway from the finish line.  so, since i have this blog as a dumping ground for all my thoughts about life, i’m going to try to record my progress here as well.  i need something to hold me accountable.  

so, tomorrow, february 2nd is day one!  my goals for the week are: workout (run, resistance training, intense yoga) at least 3 days (sounds attainable, doesn’t it) and move my body physically (it could be dancing with my daughter, vigorous cleaning, energetic physical relations with my husband,  stretching before bed etc) for at least 30-45 minutes on the other 4 days of the week.  

goal 2: increase water consumption 

goal 3:  decrease the number of cookies that mysteriously make it from cookie jar to my hand to my mouth.  

 

i’ve  been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to really live, or what it means to just have a life.  i want to focus my energy on living consciously.  making choices in life, and not just live with what you’re given and making the best you can in the situation you’re in.  we all have choices, and i am the captain of my own ship, so if i need to speak with someone about this path of failure and laziness that i seem to be on, i suppose i better take a look in the mirror and have a conversation with myself about what i really want in this life, and what i need to make me feel good, and then make the decision to DO those things that will most successfully help me achieve my goals.  

so, now,  i’m just going to start.  a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, right?   i’m ready to rock and roll.  and then i’ll just do it the next day and the next day, and the next until it’s part of my routine.

i won’t lie and say that i’m only doing this to make a shift towards time management, conscious living, goal setting and follow through.  i’m doing it because i said i would do it, but i’m also doing it because i see the numbers creeping up on the scale and that frightens me.  i’m also doing it because i feel my mind becoming unhinged a little more than i am comfortable with, and i know that i need to get back on track.

February 2, 2009

random thought

have you ever wondered why it says “for best results refrigerate after opening” on packaged prunes? really?  for best results?  are the shit-inducing properties of cold prunes really that much more efficacious than those of warm ones? has anyone ever said, “a-HA!  so that’s why i haven’t taken a dump in a week.  i’ve been eating my prunes at room temperature!”  i doubt it.  maybe they should consider changing the packaging to say “to retain freshness” or something.